I’m doing just fine if they need me, I’ll be underneath the palm trees”
Surfaces – Palm trees
Life rhythms provide a flexible framework that help our families. Flexible … not rigid! Rhythms provide a framework for life. Our kids experience this as stability, which makes them feel more secure and more confident.
But rhythms are also flexible. If they are not perfectly executed, that’s ok, and if a day gets out of balance, that’s ok. If we miss a beat, just catch the next one! When we have an off kilter day as a family, we tell our kids that we can always learn something from today and try something differently tomorrow. It’s a new day and a fresh start! So let’s give ourselves the same grace and the same pep talk too. 😌
The strongest structures have flexibility built in – a framework does, too
A flexible framework makes something resilient, a rigid framework makes it brittle. Rhythms provide structure, but this structure can flex. Kind of like a palm tree that gets bent around by a tropical storm but is resilient enough to survive until the sunny days to come.
We believe it is important to help our kids learn how to move through life within a framework that is flexible. They will thrive as they experience the consistency of the framework, and also have the confidence to go off course for the sake of adventure and opportunity! There are many instances where a family’s typical rhythms are set aside in order to ENJOY people, adventures, and opportunities freely! Here are three examples of frameworks pertaining to keeping home tidy and how it can look when they flex.
Flexible framework #1: Make the bed right when you get up … it’s a classic 😉
Framework:
- It takes just a little discipline, and just a little time to make the bed each day. But the psychological benefit of starting the day with a made bed is indisputable. By accomplishing something small, but impactful, we head into the day with a sense of accomplishment and readiness that will carry forward to what comes next.
- Also, the made bed becomes a useful spot for placing things that need attention later (things like a basket of clean laundry to fold 🙃).
Flexibility:
- We’d like to say that we always make our beds in the morning, including the kids. And while it is mostly true, there are mornings where we need to flex. Our daughters know to make their beds before they come upstairs at 7:00am. There are some nights, however, where one of our daughters has come to snuggle in our bed with us in the night. When our other daughter realizes her sister isn’t there in the morning, she will come upstairs before doing her regular morning rhythm, which includes making her bed. On these atypical mornings, we do not always head back downstairs to make the girls’ beds. We flex. The framework is in place, but sometimes, we just have to flex and tomorrow is a new day!
#2. Clear up the “landing zone” (ie. front hallway for us) as soon as you get home.
Framework:
- Coming home from almost any outing is quite the commotion. We bring everything in from our van and throw it down inside the door. Shoes, coats, backpacks, water bottles, coffee mugs, garbage, gum wrappers, receipts, toddler snack cups, and somehow, even more! Rather than leaving the “landing zone” pile and moving quickly to the next thing, establish rhythms for managing all this stuff as soon as you come home (e.g. shoes in the shoe spot, hang up coats, put water bottles on the kitchen counter, etc.) We find the domino affect either works for you or against you. It’s so much easier to keep home from unraveling when you get home if the tidying is automatic and immediate!
Flexibility:
- There are days when we maximize our time out of the house. By the time we get home, the littlest one is fussy, overtired, and very ready for his nap. On days like this, we walk right on over the pile, and head straight to his room to get him down. The “framework” is that we tidy the landing zone first. The “flex” is that sometimes our kids have a need that just can’t wait, and the usual rhythm will be a whole lot easier once we’ve provided that.
#3. Clean as you go, from task to task or toy to toy
Framework:
- Tidying up the toys in an ongoing way is something that we aim to do during the day-to-day with our kids. Kids thrive on bite-size responsibilities! They just don’t have a habitual framework for it until you give one to them. ☺️ One cue we typically use is to put away one activity before taking a new one out. This really helps avoid the compounding effect of clutter (things like all our kids’ papers)! Plus, it’s another opportunity to be together with our little family members by inviting them into the reality of home management. We hope it will serve them well later in life too when creating their own peaceful spaces!
Flexibility:
- Sometimes when guests come over, they join us in our life rhythms, and thats great. We find this holds most true when guests are “moving in” and staying over for several days at a time. But other times, we only have a couple hours and it feels like the tidy-as-you-go strategy would break up the quality time for the kids and adults! In these instances we will basically say, “go nuts kids! We’ll tackle the tidying later when our guests leave.” The kids play freely and imaginatively with their friends and the adults get a chance to talk. Everybody has a great time, the quality moments are maximized, and everyone in our household has the same expectations that we will tidy up together after we’ve all said good bye. This is often when the kids, and us, will share about the fun times that were had with our visitors! It can turn into a chance to connect, first with guests, then with our kids.
Encouragement:
The nature of a flexible framework is that we are free to adjust it to meet the needs of our family, but it remains intact. What rhythm have you established that you may need to adjust to prioritize an important person in your life?
Much love from,
Brianna and Ben
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