Our children’s birthdays and the parties we throw to commemorate them can be very meaningful when we make it about them (rather than the pressure to keep up with our neighbours or the images we see on socials). Kids birthday parties can also be quite overwhelming.
The repetitive nature of kids birthday parties
You know those days where you open the fridge to try and figure out what to cook for supper and you feel the daunting reality that this is the rest of your life? Cooking dinner is never going away. Meal planning and grocery shopping and last minute food preparations … it’s never going to change. The question, “what’s for dinner” will always be asked. And the reality of providing it, whether for others or just yourself, will remain. Suppertime is relentless. 🤪
Well, kids birthday parties can feel like that too. You pour your heart into a beautiful party for your child and feel the fulfillment of a great time had by all. A job well done. 👏🏼 You relish the moment and soak in the smile on your child’s face, only to hear them say soon after, “at my next birthday party, could we (fill in the blank)?” And you realize, you’ll be doing it all over again soon enough!
There is a way we can set aside the pressure of party planning year after year in order to make it fun again! Enjoying the party prep will begin to happen when we stop comparing to others. Instead, we can notice or discover what lights our children up and centre the celebration or party around those things.
When we know our kids, we’ll know how to focus our efforts in order to show them love. And in doing so, we will bring the fun back into it and throw a party they love!
Know your kids and notice what they love
Our oldest daughter loves themes and she loves traditions. She likes things to be the same this year as they were last year. From her Peppa Pig themed 3rd birthday onward, every birthday has looked pretty much the same, but with a different theme.
As we’ve gotten to know her personality and passions more and more over the years, it’s become clear that choosing the theme and being part of decorating for the party is the most significant part of her birthday. It fills her ‘birthday girl’ cup. (Time will tell, but we may have a future event planner on our hands!) Because of this, she has never jumped at the idea of having her birthday party somewhere other than our house. She wants it at home so she can decorate!
Our living room looks pretty decked out for most of our birthday parties at home (decked out in an easy to pull off, DIY sort of way 😉). And, it is only worth the effort because we know it is meaningful to our daughter.
We don’t decorate thematically to try and imitate some Pinterest inspiration or create an aesthetically pleasing social media post. We do it to make memories together and celebrate her in a way that she loves.
Let their personalities and passions lead
We’ve noticed that this passion isn’t quite as innate for second daughter. When we’ve asked her in years past if she’d like to do birthday party games at home like Selah’s parties, or do something like go swimming with her friends, she has chosen swimming! This simplified the planning prep because the party was more activity focused than theme, decor, and games-focused. Get to the pool, remember to bring the cupcakes and some balloons, and we could call it a party!
This year, however, she did want to have a party at home. Even so, it was notable how less opinionated and involved she wanted to be in the preparing. As Selah and I shared ideas and presented options, Brynlee seemed to like them all. 🤣 For her, she just felt special a party was being thrown for her. It was more about the moment of the party itself than the lead up, like it is for her sister.
Learning each little person’s personality and passions is just so cool. It also helps us focus our attention on what makes the birthday party meaningful to each child.
Encouragement
Next birthday that rolls around in your family, find a moment to pitch some ideas, then really watch and listen to which one lights up your child. Focus your efforts (and often-limited time and capacity) on what kind of celebration will really communicate love to them. There are always ways to make something more complex but trivial, and ways to make the same thing more simple but special.
Much love from,
Brianna and Ben
Leave a Reply